Turning Over Tables:
Learning to Question the "Why" and Advocating for Change
I love Thanksgiving! It’s that glorious time of year when we gorge ourselves, watch parades, gorge ourselves, watch football, gorge ourselves again, and then sleep! I can’t say that I have ever been much into watching the football games, but I know many people who are. Every year, getting together to watch football games is a part of their traditions.
Thanksgiving is a time that overflows with traditions. Maybe that is one of the reasons I like it so much. I can be pretty nostalgic. No two families, even those who are related, celebrate Thanksgiving in the same exact manner. Think for a minute back to when you were a child and what your favorite traditions were. Picture them as they were when you were growing up. Now picture them as they are today. How have those traditions grown and altered over the years? Are there some traditions that have fallen off and you wish you had kept them? Are there some traditions you wish would just go away but you keep them around for the sake of others?
When I was young, my father, who was a cook by trade and still loves to cook, would make Thanksgiving dinner for us. (He is still in charge of Thanksgiving Dinner.) Providing meals has always been a way for him to care for us and let us know that we are loved. Each member of the family was allowed to select a favorite vegetable and, while my father blessed us by preparing a delicious meal with his love, my mother, sisters, and I would enjoy the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. Although we never celebrated Santa in our home, we didn’t eat dinner until after he arrived!
After my husband and I had children, we continued the tradition of allowing each family member to select a favorite vegetable. As time went by, we also started asking our children what pies they wanted and made sure they each had their favorite one ready to go. I really should say “I” here because my husband certainly thinks I overdo this one and, by the plethora of leftover pies, well, I wouldn’t say he is wrong, but now it has been going on for so long that I can’t get out of it! You can imagine how with five children, three of whom are married, and four grandchildren, how my pie baking has gotten a little bit out of control.
One of our fun family traditions is a pie that no one else has ever heard of: an apple cherry pie. The very first Thanksgiving after our oldest two children were born, I had been making pies and discovered that I had too many apples and too many cherries, but not enough for two more separate pies, so I combined them, apple pie seasoning and all. Although that may sound like an odd combination, it very quickly became a family favorite, especially for my husband. Try it sometime! You’ll like it!
Years ago, my mother attempted to come to the rescue of my overabundant pie baking by suggesting we should have pie for breakfast on Thanksgiving morning as well as for dessert. Another tradition started. (We still have too many pies.)
Perhaps you are among those who love to decorate your table all fancy with dishes reserved only for the holidays. Perhaps you invite a large number of guests to dine with you, or maybe you keep the celebration to a small group. Yours might be one of those families who goes around the room and says what you are thankful for. Do you make holiday crafts? Did you grow up in one of those families that forced you to reenact the first Thanksgiving and now you either look back on that time nostalgically or groan with embarrassment? I attempted to have my homeschooled children do this once or twice when they were growing up, but it never seemed to come out quite right, and we quickly gave up on that idea.
We all have traditions in our lives that just “are.” Sometimes those traditions become altered over the years simply because they have morphed slowly over time into something new. Sometimes we stand back and look, noticing that a tradition, which may have worked well in the past, is not effective today, so we actively engage in making it better or getting rid of it altogether.
Beyond our Thanksgiving, or other, traditions in our lives, we all have circumstances in life that we participate in or are privy to without questioning what is going on. Many of those circumstances are not of concern. They are harmless to us and to others. Many can, in fact, be positive. However, many circumstances and situations that we humdrum along in life without sitting back to evaluate are more than just superficially “not good,” they are detrimental to us and to others.
To alter a tradition, a custom, a practice, that is going on around us, we must first step back, look at it and ask, “Why? Why is this practice occurring, is it okay, and is it something that we should dispose of or alter to keep part of it?” And therein lies the problem that we most often face. We tend to not notice what is going on around us, or even in us. We just keep pushing through life, often in disobedience to what God has for us, not even realizing this disobedience is occurring because we are only doing what we have always done. We fail to make space in our lives for God to point out the wrong and to arrest our attention so that He can turn over our tables, leading us to question the “Why?” and then to advocate for change.